the expected unexpected...

so some may be checking in to see how my gathering went. and as with all things, this side of eternity, it went imperfectly, and yet God's hand was clearly at work. from the start, i was fighting an uphill battle. without wanting to over-spiritualize things, i faced a number of roadblocks and hurdles the last couple of days. i had to scramble to correct a scheduling conflict between my jobs, i thought i lost my wallet (i really did leave it at work, but it was kept safe with nothing missing), it rained like crazy (i think i saw a dove with a branch in its beak nearly washed way in the wind and rain), and people were coming up left and right with reasons and excuses not to come. yet through all of that i showed up...and so did God.

one co-worker was headed home and turned on mopac and said "what the heck i'll hangout for a bit." she called a couple others who were having dinner and thinking of heading home for a quiet night. they decided to come, bringing with them another co-worker. and another friend and my brother-in-law showed up bringing the total, including me, to 7.

with beer in hand, we began to go scattershot through the four questions, focusing largely on where we are now, how we got here, and what are our hangups. i was alternately intrigued and puzzled by the answers i got. some i expected and many i did not. for two plus hours we carried on a variety of conversations, some times two or more at once. it was magnificent in the chaos and the messiness, and yet there was the beauty of authenticity that overwhelmed it. i learned more about some of my friends in those two hours than i had found out about them in months.

at the end, as the bartenders were kicking us out onto the street, we all expressed a desire to return and delve and think and share some more. the conversation found protected space to thrive. connections were made, bonds strengthened, and questions asked. there was plenty of disagreement, but in the context of mutual repsect, relationships were not threatened.

the sheer fact that no one ran screaming from the premisis made the evening a success, but the fact that all are committed to coming back makes it an overwhelming success. i was prepared for the worst, yet God showed up (ftw).

ever notice how God shows up ginormously when we realize that we cannot effect change on our own? yeah well i was reminded of zechariah 4:6 which states "'not by might nor by power, but by my spirit,' says the Lord who rules over all." it was all God and all i had to do was show up. so thank you God, and thank you all for joining me in prayer as we embark on this jourrney.

one step out...

you know that scene in indiana jones and the last crusade when harrison ford while navigating the traps of the cave reaches a gap in his path, an uncrossable gorge, which he must traverse to retrieve the holy grail in order to save his mortally wounded father? following his clues he realizes that he must take a leap of faith into what appears to be a nearly bottomless chasm. well, it is at that same type of juncture that i find myself this week, as i embark upon an adventure that could lead to the foundation of the table.

in march, as a result of some of the relationships that i had been building with coworkers and some of the resulting conversations, i began to think about forming a group. call it a gathering, a conversation, a round table, or whatever you will, i wanted to create a time, a space, a community for those conversations, instead of piecemealing them together between refilling teas and running food. after rolling it around in my head for a few weeks, i mentioned it to renee as something i would like to do over the summer. well the summer has almost slipped by and i had yet to put any serious traction to this idea, as i am sometimes wont to do. well this past week renee called me to the carpet asking me what i had done to inaugurate this gathering. that conversation alone would have been enough to press the wheels into motion, but little did i know that they would be kicked into top gear the very next day.

merely 20 something hours later my brother-in-law, michael, asked me, "so, what's next for your ministry?" to which i responded, "i have in mind starting a group with a few of my coworkers from my jobs." he followed with the question, "what would that look like?" i explained how i would like to start a group that would meet and discuss spiritual matters that could progress into a study and on into a core group that would eventually be the foundation of the table. he responded with, "what's holding you back from starting that this week or next?" i hemmed and hawed a bit, before realizing that i had no good answer except that i hadn't asked anyone to join me. with that out of the way, we talked about trying it out the following week.

and so this week--wednesday at 11pm to be precise--i am going to host the first gathering at a local taproom, with michael generously subsidizing the tab with this weekend's poker winnings. imagine that, beer and gambling being used to further the kingdom of God?! i have invited or will invite 8-12 friends to join me in an open conversation on spirituality. of those i have asked all have either expressed interest in or outright committed to coming. as a wannabe pastor, i want to know and plan on asking (though, i reserve the right to change, rephrase, amend, or add to these questions as the Lord leads):

1. where they have come from?
2. where are they now?
   
3. how have they gotten here?
   
4. what hangups do they have with God, Jesus, the Bible, Christianity, and the Church?

i want a sense of where people are so that i can understand and reach out to them, meeting them in their situation. to that end this group is truly a mixed bag (with several disavowed christians, several Christ-followers of varying maturities, a fairly devout catholic, a few that are seeking, and several agnostic/atheists) and should give me a broad cross-section of austin's culture. i could add further distinctions that will likely prove interesting in the context of the conversation, but may not necessarily be helpful to illuminate within the context of this blog.

i anticipate lively and revealing conversation and hope that it will spark within each individual a desire for community and truth, such that they keep coming back in the following weeks. i desire that they will not only bond together in community, but they bring friends as well. i hope that we meet so frequently and grow to the extent that i have to find other means of sub"suds"izing the gatherings beyond even a year's worth of michael's poker winnings. i envision that one day this gathering will move from discussion of the general and superficial spiritual hangups that i initially anticipate, to a deeper discussion and study of biblical issues (such as the person of Christ, his work on the Cross, and his resurrection), to a core group that would be the foundation of the table. but of all the hopes and dreams that i harbor for this gathering, i desire, first and foremost, that each individual comes face to face with the life-changing reality of Jesus Christ and find their lives inescapably changed.

it is upon this adventure that i enjoin you. i need and covet your prayers, not only yours but those of Christ-followers in this great state, across this country, and around the world. if you find this compelling, i ask you to forward it on to anyone who you think might be equally moved. i would also welcome any comments or encouragements that you have, for i have never felt so much trepidation and at the same moment anticipation for anything in my life. it is truly thrilling. and so it is with you that i take my one step out...